On the theme of rescue

Poetry Original Works - Post Your Poems
1

Tempest
On a boat on the ocean I look overboard into the abyss
beneath my feet. My wisdom is all used up. The low sun
is a bloody egg yolk. I understand then that I am too
comfortable with the thought of death.

I am a famous surrealist
I imagine blackbirds flying to and fro across a wall beside
the hospital bed where I lie dying. Brought to wakefulness
by fever, chills and ragged breathing, my mind flies away,
following avian avatars of a world beyond realism.

Snake vignette
Reborn as a snake— all my dreams and my fears,
all my memories bundled into the skin of a snake.
Serpentine thrusts overwrite my grudging passivity.
I am a line of inviolable poetry.

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2

Interesting Collection

Tempest

Like how the circumstance kicks out the wisdom. Decisively. bloody read like an expletive.

I am a famous surrealist

I wondered if the unidentified black birds would be more ominous.

Snake vignette

I liked the bundled element, but didn’t understand the closing line.

Best

Phil

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3

I like these asutere poems very much, David, even more on the second read.
I wonder – it’s not a suggestion, just a wondering – if the subtitles could be connected? They don’t have to be,
I am the tempest
I am a famous surrealist
I am a snake vignette.

Even as I write this out, I can see that no, that wouldn’t do, but it’s a tempting thought.
Great writing. Great impression it made.

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4

Hi and welcome, T.
Thanks for posting.
I agree with Phil, ‘black birds’ would be far more effective.
I’d like to see these fleshed out more… i.e. I’d like to read more of your poetry.
Regards.

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