While I enjoyed this on the whole and some stanzas more than others for their imagery and gentleness, I felt less taken with individual stanzas. The opening sets the stage as it were but to my taste if overly poetic in execution. The first two lines feel artificial and deliberate and the fourth line an obvious echo of other poetry so close to cliche or at worst parody. That sounds too harsh but the quiet lovliness and precision beats it all hands down. Stanza continues that lovliness but IMO does not need the word stillness as the walk and the mirror of blue do that. I can’t think of anything loud about a mirror. Likewise do we need to be told who Henry Vaughan was?
The last is neat but too neat and flat for the quality of the walk to get there. Again, only my taste in these matters. The poem as such potential
Cheers Dave. The S1 is my sense of doodling, not being too serious (similarly the closing stanza). A composition written in a pub… supposedly Anyway, I’ve tinkered a tad. Thanks for the nudge.
