Children play at a creek
and the world is altered,
a dam of found things
gathered on a walk.
Mother calls;
it’s time for dinner.
The waters pause, briefly-
part, then converge.
Tomorrow it’s a slot car
a treehouse, a workshop, a town…
1 Like
That’s a mighty opening two lines. Tracy will love it too.
L7 and 8 are wonderful.
S3 is perfect, the progressive loss of childhood in so few words is stunning.
That’s old school play, well done.
My sisters and I loved the creek near our house; it was the best playground a kid could have–plus it was too far from the house for us to hear our Mom call us home. We went home from judging time by the sun.
I enjoy the innocence and joy that your poem conjures up, Marc.
Lovely closing couplet also.
Could you do without briefly?
Reads, looks and sounds good like this I think…
The waters pause, part,
then converge.
Hello Nial. Welcome. Thanks for the kind comments and, yes, I think you’re right. It does read better without briefly. Thank you. Marc